tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post1336714623529793666..comments2023-12-11T20:18:37.225-06:00Comments on Shattering the Silence: Roger Mannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591791342062150604noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-26751914350940889112020-05-04T00:27:25.637-05:002020-05-04T00:27:25.637-05:00Indeed, Mark, I was astounded at the connections i...Indeed, Mark, I was astounded at the connections it portrayed that so resembled my dad and me.<br />This is something I never considered but explained a lot of what I was feeling but couldn't put a name to. Thanks for your comment. Roger Mannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07591791342062150604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-52790962892293132812020-04-19T18:03:32.817-05:002020-04-19T18:03:32.817-05:00I firmly believe "triangulation", due to...I firmly believe "triangulation", due to its subtle and seeming harmlessness, is an often overlooked form of sexual abuse. Often, thought not always, it may not involve any sexually abusive touch, but places the child in the role of a spouse, on an emotional level. I have also heard this form of abuse called "parentification" of a child, and "emotional incest." <br />Like you, I recently read a book that dealt exclusively with this type of abuse, (not the book you mention) and was amazed at how I identified with what the author was saying.I saw that this type of abuse had ramifications in my current life, that I had been clueless in seeing. In my case, I was parentified primarily by my mom. I saw her as my protector, but also someone I needed to protect, make happy, solve her problems, listen to her sharing her marriage problems. All of that further robbed me of being able to be a child. It forced me into the role of an adult, specifically, it forced me into the role of her husband, my dad, on the emotional level. Since reading the book, I am facing that damage, and also finding that I do not feel as emotionally needy in my friendships with men. I also am being able to set firmer boundaries, and learning that sometimes I can set a parameter with a friend, and not passively wait and yield to whatever parameters of friendship he may set.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing this vital post. Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06377229341309366053noreply@blogger.com