tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post2375131165709114567..comments2023-12-11T20:18:37.225-06:00Comments on Shattering the Silence: No Response to Love ExpressedRoger Mannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591791342062150604noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-83328810670532478292014-11-22T17:59:31.580-06:002014-11-22T17:59:31.580-06:00As old as I am, there are moments yet when I would...As old as I am, there are moments yet when I would like to be that little boy who could curl up in Daddy's arms and feel loved and accepted. I was in my mid teens when I was seduced by an older man. And it was only after I puked all the past up to my counselor that I realized that when I used to cruise to find older, father-like men, I was still that wounded boy looking for and longing for acceptance by daddy.Josephnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-35804975625106904802014-11-22T14:47:08.935-06:002014-11-22T14:47:08.935-06:00I agree with Joseph.
I remember one day my mothe...I agree with Joseph. <br /><br />I remember one day my mother, who was always trying to reassure me that dad loved and cared for me, which in itself should have told her something; showed me a picture. It was of my dad in his rocking chair. He had me on his lap and I was about 7 or 8 I guess from the picture. What she failed to see which was obvious to me was that dad's hand was right in my crotch. I had a faraway look in my eyes and I almost teared up staring at it. <br /><br />I thanked her and said nothing about what I saw. I guess you see what you want to see. I always joked that I knew dad loved me; mom said so. <br /><br />Maybe he did I don't know but I just cannot remember him ever saying it or other words like atta boy, proud of you, you did good, etc. <br /><br />I know I have difficulty accepting love and even giving love. My love thing I guess atrophied over time I guess from lack of use. I am learning through celebrate recovery and the 12 step program but I really think only the God of Love can really repair that and maybe it is just HIM loving through me. At least that way I know it is HIM and I do give HIM the credit. I sure don't have it in me on my own.<br /><br />Thanks Mark.Roger Mannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07591791342062150604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-42227330952546545652014-11-21T18:13:19.535-06:002014-11-21T18:13:19.535-06:00A grief that followed me into old age was never kn...A grief that followed me into old age was never knowing a father's love or having a memory of being held in daddy's arms. Most days I am able to leave that in God's hands, but sometimes when I see a little fellow run and jump into his dad's outstretched arms, it can still being tears to my eyes. I never knew how to respond to my wife's unconditional love. I recently something like this: "Learning to love is like learning the French language; if you don't learn it early, it's hard to get the hang of it." And that's the truth.Josephnoreply@blogger.com