tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post2914482277044153665..comments2023-12-11T20:18:37.225-06:00Comments on Shattering the Silence: “It Could Have Been Worse”Roger Mannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591791342062150604noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-47568664375267611452017-09-08T20:15:38.451-05:002017-09-08T20:15:38.451-05:00One thing about my story above that gives me hope ...One thing about my story above that gives me hope is that I fought back. I didn't just take it anymore. The threats of him klling me, my mom and brother and sisters did not work anymore. I believe it scared him to death that i was about to reveal the secret to everyone, and I was going to. But I heard the doctor on the phone and I knew that I was one step from being locked up. I knew at that time that my dad's dad had already institutionalized my dad's mom, and I could see myself going there too. So, I locked it all away from the age of around 12/13 to the age of 36 - 24 years. I had heard stories on Oprah where people had locked away memories for that long but I did not realize it was true. I do think that if I had not locked it all away, I would have gone completely crazy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-23002611992242753542017-09-07T18:19:47.345-05:002017-09-07T18:19:47.345-05:00Thank you Thank you Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-33786396407311339102017-09-07T13:44:09.812-05:002017-09-07T13:44:09.812-05:00Anonymous, thank you for having the courage to sha...Anonymous, thank you for having the courage to share with us. <br /><br />Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06377229341309366053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-58792917585552040832017-09-07T06:33:27.075-05:002017-09-07T06:33:27.075-05:00I never shared with anyone when I was a child then...I never shared with anyone when I was a child then teenager. I know The night the abuse stopped. Everyone in my family knows that night, they just don't know what happened to me that night to cause the rage. I was asleep in my bed that night. I believe I was a teenager or almost a teen. My dad came to me again that night and placed His hand over my mouth and face and held me down as he pleasured himself. After it was over and I came back to myself. I went into a flying rage, clawing at him, trying my best to strangle him. I ran to the bathroom and was standing in the tub. My mother came in there and my dad was standing behind her. I tried my best to reach him and choke him as I spit at him and growled. I believe I was truly on the edge of losing my mind. I remember my mother called the doctor and he said that if he doesn't get a grip then he may need to be institutionalized. It was like a flip switched. Everything that he did to me was locked away within me and I threw away the key. He never touched me again and I never remembered anything until my dad committed suicide in 2001. Then the door of memories unlocked. I thought I was going crazy and all I wanted to so was commit suicide. I felt like trash. Thank the Lord for my wife and a good counselor. Still everyday is a battle.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-39326476458153192182017-09-04T14:12:06.207-05:002017-09-04T14:12:06.207-05:00Comments like that make me angry now that I recall...Comments like that make me angry now that I recall them. At the time though I took it as my being worthless and I kept silent. Oh the price I paid for being silent, in many respects. Thank God for sharing his love with me, his faithfulness and healing brought me through.<br /><br />Thanks guys for sharing.stanwhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07470558145823645718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-33783632382927880892017-09-01T03:07:10.530-05:002017-09-01T03:07:10.530-05:00Great pieceGreat pieceSean Desmondhttp://www.cfrmagazine.com/?m=1noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-14623999907430585572017-08-30T08:51:46.801-05:002017-08-30T08:51:46.801-05:00The first two men I told I had been sexually abuse...The first two men I told I had been sexually abused responded poorly to me. They were both Christian authority figures who I looked up to and trusted. They both communicated the same message, "Why are you so upset? It happened a long time ago. You are OK. You need to forgive and move on."<br /><br />Their message of course put all the responsibility back on me. I told them about my abuse on a Saturday. The next morning I sat in church, right across the aisle from one of my abusers, and I quietly cried through the entire service, thinking that I was completely in the wrong for being abused and for having feelings about the abuse.<br /><br />This happened nearly 25 years ago. In recent years I have had to work through a lot of forgiveness towards these two men. In their own way, they violated and raped my soul, just as my abusers violated and raped my soul AND my body. Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06377229341309366053noreply@blogger.com