tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post6939202306685968524..comments2023-12-11T20:18:37.225-06:00Comments on Shattering the Silence: Holding OnRoger Mannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591791342062150604noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-47206222829968691612015-03-28T11:35:05.957-05:002015-03-28T11:35:05.957-05:00And sometimes, when they realize they're only ...And sometimes, when they realize they're only holding an object, or don't understand why something's been said, they fall down, angry and misunderstanding. They can scream 'triangulation', for example, and don't realize how nuances of care and even intervention occurred for their benefit. Ironically, boundaries can be read as harmful by others, it doesn't matter what others do. Survivors can easily smell 'betrayal' where in fact, there is none. Survivors are incompetent trusters.Andrew J. Schmutzerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10076017366842306913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-21629767231846601352015-03-26T18:21:31.413-05:002015-03-26T18:21:31.413-05:00Roger. once again I admire your honesty. Thank you...Roger. once again I admire your honesty. Thank you.<br />I would use the word boundaries, which is an area most of us survivors struggle over. Not only do we need to set boundaries for others, but also for ourselves. It's all part of the healing process. Keep on, Roger.<br /><br /><br />CecCec Murpheyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06151061579255432985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-37487546343077912462015-03-25T22:37:17.509-05:002015-03-25T22:37:17.509-05:00For much of my life I have been depending on other...For much of my life I have been depending on others for my needs; emotionally, physically, financially at times too. I think for me God was trying to get me to see that I could walk on my own but I was afraid. I would latch on to someone and they would move away. This happened so many times it was not funny. <br /><br />I finally accepted that I am on my own here and I am ok. I can walk or fall and it is ok. I can get up and keep going and the world does not end. <br /><br />To a degree we do need others. It's a fact of life but there is needing others and being parasitic emotionally. I found I sometimes just drained the life out of my friends. <br /><br />As with all of like there is balance and balance here is learning when it is ok to call a friend, and when it is time to just be in the moment and let it teach me what I need to learn. Not always easy to discern but it is a learned skill and helps me be a better well rounded person that others enjoy being around. <br /><br />I now try to stand when I can but I am learning when and where I need to call for help. There is no shame in doing that. Sometimes I have found people actually want to help and my call can be a gift now.Roger Mannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07591791342062150604noreply@blogger.com