tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post1541578020898901808..comments2023-12-11T20:18:37.225-06:00Comments on Shattering the Silence: An Overview of AbsurdityRoger Mannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591791342062150604noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-71348712536867867102010-06-03T15:33:19.177-05:002010-06-03T15:33:19.177-05:00Hi,
I have read several posts on here and have bee...Hi,<br />I have read several posts on here and have been really amazed at how many men and women carry this for years, including myself. I know this is a site for men, however, am glad I found it because I, too, have felt awful carrying this for so long.<br />I was not sexually abused where there was actual intercourse, however, I had a cousin, uncle and a high school teacher sexually abuse me. The uncle would make sure he got his 'feel' and that I felt his 'excitement' while on his lap. The male cousin would be around during 'play time' and when alone, would 'mount' me with clothes on and do his thing. And the high school teacher, he would make sexual comments to me (how he would like to watch me with another girl and I need to wear that sexy top I wore yesterday for him again). <br />I have toted this for years and now being 45, it has flooded me with emotions along with the emotional abuse and neglect that I received from my parents. (Who knew of the things I mentioned above by the way and didn't want to start trouble). What do you think a child of 8,9,10,11,12,13 years of age is going to do with such events if they are not made to feel protected, secure, valued, etc..?????? We end up on sites such as this trying to 'exist, cope, find closure, love ourselves.<br />Thanks for letting me share.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1362373399405910593.post-33588482986705886942010-06-02T12:33:51.839-05:002010-06-02T12:33:51.839-05:00Wow! I don't quite know what to say. I remembe...Wow! I don't quite know what to say. I remember saying some of the same things when I first began my recovery such as, "It's not as bad as others' stories." Only to have to tell mine and look at the horror on their faces and hear, "I can't believe you would say that." Having lived most of my life without any memories of such horror, apparently numbed my awareness of the degree of harm and emotion of such. At 39, my memories began resurfacing. It was so horrible and traumatizing. I can't even begin to describe it.<br />I began a blog once about it, but went back and erased it, not sure I wanted to get that personal with the world. To that end, I have to say that you are one of my heroes. To write what you did is so powerful. When those worrisome thoughts come about exposing this part of your life, just know that God will do something amazing with it!<br /><br />I am one of those that you have already touched by your honesty. If you remember, I wrote to you a few days ago about devotional writing. I commented on the fact that I connected with yours because they are so "real." Now, I can see why! I honestly believe that there is something within those who have experienced sexual abuse that gives them a passion about their message. I can't explain it, I just know it is a God thing. And I know it is a God thing that I have come across your blogs and devotionals. I have been trying to write a book about my journey through resurfacing memories of sexual abuse. Not that I originally wanted to. I kept giving God one excuse after the other until I heard his "still small voice", which was actually loud and clear, saying, "Each day you put it off you are walking in disobedience." Wow! I could no longer argue about it. But it has been a huge struggle for me. None the less, I press on, claiming His Word, struggling, crying, and seeing him at work in me through it all. <br />Cec, I pray that God will continue to use you, to use you mightily in this area. It is a much needed and very difficult area to minister in, as you may well know.<br />Blessings, my brother in Christ and fellow writer in the gospel,<br />Brendabblack4jcnoreply@blogger.com