Why Me? (Part 2 of 7)

Why did my perpetrator choose me?

Katariina Rosenblatt (mentioned in the previous entry) pointed out significant reasons we were selected as targets. Here are three of them.

1. Abuse within the home normalizes that type of treatment. One of our frequent commenters, Roger, has made several references about what his father did to him. Why would he question the ongoing behavior as a young child? The molestation took on a form of normalcy.

2. Economic disadvantages, such as coming from a single-parent home. My parents were poor and I was the fifth of seven children. I rarely got attention and never any affection at home. Hence I was open to anyone who showered me with attention and affection (even false affection).

3. Seeking a father figure to fill a “daddy hole.” Although we’ve discussed this before, we can overemphasize it. I believe part of our hardwiring—part of being a creation of God—is the inborn need for fatherly affection. If we don’t get that in childhood, most of us search for someone to fill that role for us. Too often, it’s a perpetrator who knows how to spot needy kids.

We become the target because of a normal, childhood need.

Because of our natural need for affection and attention 

perpetrators took advantage of us.

Why Me? (Part 1 of 7)

“Why? Why did it happen to me?” That’s one of the most common questions I hear from survivors. Sometimes they add, “I never did anything to deserve it.”

Nobody deserves it.

I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I’ve come up with a few.

In 2014, I was the ghostwriter for a book titled Stolen: The True Story of a Sex Trafficking Survivor.[1] In the first chapter I contrasted Katariina Rosenblatt’s experience with mine. The biggest difference is that she was seduced into sex trafficking at age 14. That could have happened to me. (And yes, the sex trade wants boys, too.)

We pointed out that Kat lived in Florida and I lived in Iowa. Cec “wasn’t caught up in human trafficking [but] he easily could have been lured into the sex trade. He had many of the same problems and conflicts I did.”[2]

Most of us weren’t grabbed by some pedophile lurking in the dark; our perpetrators were those we trusted.

Kat, who works with survivors of sex trafficking helped me understand the profile. I’ll share that in my next blog.

[1] Stolen: The True Story of a Sex Trafficking Survivor by Katariina Rosenblatt with Cecil Murphey (Revell, 2014).
[2] Ibid.