Thank both of you for your comments. It's difficult dealing with all the effects that abuse can leave on you. Some it might take years to realize them for what they are. Here is a poem I wrote about being married and dealing with the past. 

That Room

I want to sleep through life

Just drift away without a care

cause when I try to awaken

I always seem to awaken there.

I snuggle close and feel the warmth

I'm hoping you are not aware

that when I'm in it deep and hard

I close my eyes to smell your hair

Distracting with everything I have

but the memory of it's hard to bear

There's nothing left I've lost the fight

to distract from being right back there

I'm sorry

Roger