"Who says I have to forgive him for what he did to me?" an angry email read. "He ruined my life."
After several email exchanges, he told me that three of his friends told him repeatedly that he could never be fully healed unless he forgave his perpetrator.
I replied with a "Yes, but…" response. I asked, "Are you ready to forgive?" I suggested that he not allow anyone to push him.
"I'm not ready to forgive," he said.
When you feel you must forgive, that's the right time. Eventually you'll realize that's an important (but not immediate) step in your recovery.