I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

Forgiving Your Abuser

"Who says I have to forgive him for what he did to me?" an angry email read. "He ruined my life."

After several email exchanges, he told me that three of his friends told him repeatedly that he could never be fully healed unless he forgave his perpetrator.

I replied with a "Yes, but…" response. I asked, "Are you ready to forgive?" I suggested that he not allow anyone to push him.

"I'm not ready to forgive," he said.

When you feel you must forgive, that's the right time. Eventually you'll realize that's an important (but not immediate) step in your recovery.

2 comments:

Curtis Cutler said...

Even tho you forgive the pain and all the reminders ( triggers ) are still there. I have learned that God does not want us to hold stuff in and doesn't want us to forget. it is all part of are story and journey God allows these things to happen for a reason, and I believe it is to help others who have been abused I think the worst part is feeling alone, Im the only one this has happened to, no one will understand and they will laugh and make fun of me. When I was in inpatient I came to relies that it doesn't matter what people think about me I know who I am and why God made me. nobody laughs about my story It wasn't my fault what happened to me.
If you read this and want to know more about my story Google my name Curtis Cutler.

Hayden said...

I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive my step mother. It's also been less than a year since she did anything. I'm still struggling with the fact that God still loves me.