Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Part of what bothered me so much in the early stages of my acceptance as a victim was the loneliness. Unable to talk to anyone about the huge secrets I carried was a huge burden. A burden I never realized I was carrying until I finally told someone. I couldn't believe what a relief it was. I cried a lot just to know I was heard and believed and it was okay.

This is one of the major reasons I've agreed to do this blog. I haven't forgotten both the feeling of carrying the load and of finally having someone to share it with. Later on, I found a website that specifically was designed for men who were victims to come and talk with others, share their stories and feelings and get support. That again was huge, almost intoxicating. I was not alone. It was not my fault. I was believed.

The first time I tried to share with someone on a different site, I was not believed. I was very upset that I have finally opened my soul to another and was put down like someone just seeking attention. I never told anyone else until that day in counselling as mentioned above.

Why don't we tell? Because it hurts too much not to be believed and thought evil of. This is dark stuff but it dies in the light and telling can remove the teeth from the memories.

Just my thoughts