Wednesday, November 20, 2019


Every now and then I wake my wife up with my yelling and/or moaning loudly. It's not as bad as it has been because I'm learning to take control when I sense this coming on. Usually in times of stress or anxiety over something during the day. If I feel it at bedtime, I do some relaxing exercises and prayers before retiring. This has seemed to help a lot.

I had not experienced a nightmare since I was in High School. Then around 40-45 years old, I had my first and it was a doozy. I can't remember what it was about, and I seldom do upon waking. I don't know if I really can't recall or if I subconsciously don't want to recall.

I've learned in my research that it's not uncommon for survivors to have them to various degrees. I've worked with some sleep diagnostic people that helped me with them by giving me the above exercises. I'm glad I checked with some other survivors on this because for a long time I thought I was losing it big time and it really worried my wife. Also, I'd never really connected it to the abuse until talking online with others.

There are all kinds of side effects to being a survivor but that's where reaching out and getting help can really help ease the transition from survivor to thriver.

1 comment:

jhoenshell said...

Does it make sense that I'm often reticent about sharing (esp with my wife) the worst of my nightmares, particularly when the content is R rated, or worse? I can readily see how they relate to my years of abuse.

And it's particularly acute because the content of her worst dreams seems to revolve around her own fears... that I am acting in strange & even reckless ways toward her and the kids, overlooking them, abandoning them, unkindly absorbed in my own self-preservation, etc.

Furthermore, I know it doesn't help when a physical malady... such as PD (Parkinson's) only exacerbates the problem of Vivid Dreams (10 years now).

All that to say, nightmares are truly a disruption.