Thursday, December 5, 2019


Holidays can be painful for the average person, even more so for those of us who’ve been assaulted. Sexual assault can cripple a victim’s ability to form good healthy connections, and especially with family members for several reasons. When incest has been the problem these issues can become impossible to navigate.

This time of the year has always been difficult for me. My father was my abuser from childhood but as a child, I knew no different and therefore accepted what was as normal. It was only after I entered high school that it really hit me what was going on between me and my father was not good.

Holidays became especially painful. All of the fake love and kisses, happy poses for pictures, and pretending we were just another big happy family. Only with me the odd one. I was by then pretty closed off and distant. It was becoming harder to fake the smiles, hugs, and laughter. I was feeling pretty empty emotionally.

I don’t know if those of us who had good families and were just assaulted by strangers or maybe family friends feel the same about holidays. I would imagine it’s still difficult on many levels but I’d love to hear from some of you about how you handle these happy family holiday times. I know people who are single and hate them but were never molested at all. They’re just lonely. But I know of married friends who find it all difficult too and there’s no victimhood lurking in their background. Maybe it just the way the world is going that stresses everyone out anyway.

Anyway, I was just curious.

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