I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

What Forgive Doesn't Mean

Many nonbelievers, as well as believers, don't fully grasp biblical forgiveness. To forgive doesn't mean that the victim needs to seek a relationship with the perpetrator. The offender needs the grace of God, but that doesn't mean the victim has to be the dispenser. The victim forgives because God's grace is at work in him.

To forgive doesn't mean that the offender's behavior was acceptable. It wasn't and it will never be acceptable. Forgiveness doesn't mean that the victim concedes that the perpetrator didn't mean to hurt him. Of course the victim was hurt.

To forgive doesn't mean that the crime--and it is a crime--has been wiped away or that the guilty won't ever be held accountable. To forgive doesn't condone or overlook the abuser's action.

--excerpted from When A Man You Love Was Abused by Cecil Murphey, Kregel Publications, 2010, page 228.

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