Robert emailed me and I was so touched by it, I asked him for permission to share what he sent (with minor editing for his privacy). He agreed.
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I am reading your book Not Quite Healed: 40 Truths for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse. I can't tell you how this is emotionally impacting me today. I can't put it down, although I have felt like I was going to throw up while reading it this morning.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this book, I feel it is starting me on the long road to healing. I have a memory of being sexually abused by a male babysitter and older family friend sometime around age six, but I am certain there was another person who abused me as well earlier because I am having flashbacks now at age 52.
I don't see the person in my flashbacks, but I see how I did strange sexual things as a five year old which indicates I was very disturbed.
Your book has already helped me in just one day. I have never been able to tell anyone my awful secret, what I have been filled with shame about my entire life. I have an irrational sexual attraction to other men. There, I said this to another human being for the first time in 50 years.
I know this is just an email, but I am already feeling empowered by typing this to you. I have never engaged in sexual intercourse with a man, but I do have a temptation for what I call "soft porn," on the internet. I feel like I dance as close as possible to actually getting on a porn site and the urge is overpowering. I do well for a time, then it hits me hard.
It seems like in the last couple of years reaction to the abuse has gotten worse. I am emotionally off, make assumptions about people, and see myself negatively. My childhood was so dramatically affected by the abuse, and I am just now understanding it with the help of your book.
I have been happily married more than 30 years. We have three wonderful kids.
I loved the part of your book where it talks about this desire is "irrational." This email is my first step in recovery and I am so grateful to you and Gary for writing this book.