I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

"Why Do You Keep This Blog Going?"

"You seem pretty well put together," one of my friends said, "so why do you keep your blog going? You don't need it, do you?"

"Because I want to offer hurting men the help I needed when I was in deep pain." Those words flew out of my mouth before I had time to think about the answer. They were right. After I reflected, I came up with other reasons.

This is my way to give back. My best friend, David, and my late wife, Shirley, were both available to me when I finally—at age 51—confronted my sexual and physical assault. Without them, I probably would have made it, but the road would have been bumpier and slower. Both of them embraced me (emotionally and physically) when I could only cry and words wouldn't come.

I can't be there in person for all survivors, but I can hold out my arms through my words. Many of you have responded and done the same thing. Which leads me to another reason: In the giving is also the receiving.

Here's how I arrived at that statement. At the church I attend, nine elderly widows sit in a single pew. I can't remember how I started, but each Sunday I walk up to the "sunshine row" and hug every one of them. "I love your hugs," one woman said on Sunday.

"And I need yours," I answered. "Here at church are often the only hugs I get that week."

I was the giver, but in the giving of myself to them, I was able to receive their expressions of compassion and affection.

I wish I'd thought of that when my friend asked me why I kept this blog going. I've finally put my response into two simple words.

I care.

5 comments:

Joseph said...

We need you to keep this blog going. Those of us on the journey of recovering have days of joy and sorrow, days of victory and failure. This is a place where we can share joy and victory on those days and sorrow and failure on other days. Here we can encourage each other because we have the grief of having been abused that joins us in the fellowship of suffering the past, and the fellowship of hope and joy of recovery.
Keep it up.

Cec Murphey said...

Joseph, thank you. I have no plans to stop the blogging, but it was still a good question for me to think and articulate a response.

Thank YOU for adding to that and for saying it well.
Cec

Robert said...

I need you more than you know, I consider you a friend. Please don't stop the blog

Larry Clemson said...

Thank You for caring & sharing your heart! We need to be there for each other even if it's in a blog, in person or any other form of communication. I hope I can be there for others like you Cec. Thank You so much!

Mark Cooper said...

Cec, I'm reminded of your writing about the "Wounded Healers" in your book, Not Quite Healed.

I'm thankful you have chosen to be a Wounded Healer, and continue to share, even though at times that sharing may stir memories of wounds.