About two years after facing my abuse, I often heard myself saying, "I should be healed by now." When I spoke those words, I didn’t understand the pervasiveness of molestation. I wanted to be completely free from my past abuse and to have the memories wiped away.
Life doesn’t work that way. Healing is a process—and the word process means that the changes don't happen quickly.
When I consider process, three things stand out. First, sexuality involves our total selves—mind, body, emotions, and spirit. God created us that way, and sexuality is a powerful force in our lives.
Second, our abuse took place in secret, and it happened when we were young and innocent. We lived with our hidden anguish for years.
Third, it took a long time before we were ready to face our pain and reach for healing. Deep healing comes slowly. To acknowledge that reality is a powerful factor in learning to endure.
Be kind to yourself. Think of each day as taking you forward toward a full resolution of your pain. As Alcoholics Anonymous says it, "One day at a time."
Healing is a process.
I'll be patient with myself.