“I’m willing to forgive him for molesting me, after he admits what he did to me.”
We’ve all heard people say those words. What they can’t seem to accept is that forgiveness isn’t dependent on actions of others.
Of course, it’s easier to forgive when the perpetrator expresses remorse. Then we can feel as if we’ve been paid back in some way.
For many, forgiveness is the understanding that we offer to someone—a gift—but it has strings attached. The if-you-will condition is implied.
By adding conditions, they become the chains that bind us to the person who harmed us. We may set the conditions for granting forgiveness, but the person who harmed us decides whether the conditions are too costly.
If we wait for those who harmed us to repent,
we may never be healed.