Saturday, April 18, 2020

Sorry, this is late, I've been struggling with some health issues. I'm over the worst of it I hope and will be back on a regular basis.

I've been sharing a little with my wife about the book I've been reading. I've mentioned it before in a recent thread. It's a novel approach to healing of sexual brokenness. It's been an eye-opener and as I've looked back at the various behaviors I've fallen into I've realized there was a definite pattern I was playing out through it all.  I've discussed some of this with my wife, things I felt pertinent to our situation and it's brought us to a closer understanding of each other's lives.

This is important to me because it has opened up a possibility of deepening our connection with each other. I find myself more patient with her sharing which she loves to do constantly. Well, maybe a little more patient, it's work but work I now want to do because it's important. I'm still working to opening up to her more but it's now a goal.

And just so you know, it's not like we are all agreeing on everything but I'm noticing less stress when we disagree. I'm trying not to shut her down and walk away as much as I used to. I think shes noticed.

I need connection, she does too. We both go at it differently but I'm working on changing my part. I suspect she will follow suit eventually also.


Anna L. Russell said...

Roger, you described what my husband of 61 years and I are experiencing. Communication frustration, impatience, throw up hands. Yep. And, like you, we need the connection so he is softening, and I'm frowning less; he is listening a bit more and I'm speaking up slightly more.
Thanks for sharing.

Roger Mann said...

Anna, thanks for your comment and I'm encouraged that both of you are seeing the issue like my wife and I and are working toward a closer more intimate relationship. I hope the two of you as I do for my wife and I can become not just spouses but friends also.