Tuesday, December 1, 2020

 Looking back from the age I'm at now I'm beginning to see how difficult parenting is for someone so flawed. Yeah, I'm thinking of my dad too I guess but I'm also thinking of me. I did very poorly with my first son. I did better with the second but that's in large part to him being around his mom more than around me. Those were difficult years for me. 

I thought I'd done better with my daughter but that's not the case. She struggles and has her own difficulties probably stemming from the time she spent with her parents. We were both pretty selfish and we raised a selfish kid. 

As I've improved in my own character and behavior I've tried to impart some of that learning experience to her but she doesn't listen to me much anymore. Truth is truth but it can lose credibility with the next generation if we have not established some kind of credibility with them. I've apparently lost much of mine. She receives my advice from others better than she does from me.

There is much-needed room for giving some grace and allowing her to make her own mistakes and loving her through them rather than pointing them out. I've received much grace for my own failures. I need to extend that to others. 

Just my thoughts

1 comment:

Doug Bee said...

What a beautiful insight.
Painful, but it shows such growth!
Children are resilient, up to a point, and can bounce back from a lot. But abuse is an overwhelming trauma.
I love that you give yourself space to have an honest assessment. I will pray your daughter can recognize that you are still growing and healing from your own childhood trauma and from imperfect parenting.
I am still trying to be a better dad. Maybe not much hope or opportunity with my oldest kids, but like you I an still trying to show that I can grow, and they can learn from that example.
You MUST accept that you have been own an incredible journey. A journey is not measured by the start or even the path, but usually by the distance traveled or the destination. You have come so far (check) AND grown in such depth (check). I hope your daughter will one-day recognize the beautiful man you have become!