I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

Personal Transformation

About 18 months ago I began a process I call personal transformation. I am moving away from victimhood toward survivorship. To this day I am not free of anger and bitterness. My dad robbed me of my life when I was six or seven years old. I hate him.

My friends keep telling me to forgive him and maybe I can one day. But I can't do that yet. Maybe one day I can.



wondering04 said...

I too had to forgive my parents for their sexual abuse of me and resented it. I felt it gave them a free pass for all the hurt they caused. It took
a long time before I made the decision to forgive them, but when I did my healing journey could begin. I learned that forgiveness had nothing to do
with them and everything to do with me. I no longer had to carry around the weight of memories. I held on to my hatred of them long after they died,
and all it did was make me miserable. The truth is that forgiveness is not absolution. Those who hurt you so badly will have to answer to God for
their behavior. But when you throw off the cloak of unforgiveness, you are freed to move forward in your life. Forgiving is not forgetting. It just strips the hurt from it's power over your life. I pray that you find the strength to forgive so that your hurting memories become memories as you step forward into new paths of victorious freedom.

c.murph said...

Wondering posted a powerful testimony. "Forgivness is not absolution. Those who hurt you so badly will have to answer to God for their behavior."

Wondering said it better than I could. Those are wise and insighful words.

I also beleive that for many of us, forgiveness is about the hardest thing we must do if we want healing.