I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

Questions and Answers (Part 2 of 7)

(an encore post by Cecil Murphey)

"Is it typical for molested boys to keep quiet and not tell?"

It's definitely typical and there are many reasons they say nothing. Sometimes they fear they won't be believed. They think it's their fault. In my case, I believe it was because I didn't think anyone cared.

The official-and-conservative figure is that one out of every six boys has been abused before they reach the age of sixteen. Oprah Winfrey commented on that and said, "Those are only the ones who speak up."

I think Oprah was correct. I was abused and didn't speak up until I hit 50. I wonder how many more men are around who haven't talked. I wonder how many men carried the dark secret all their lives and died without telling anyone.


Andrew Schmutzer said...

This a very difficult issue for me as a male survivor. A society that depends so much on the pat answer of patriarchy refuses to accept that boys are also affected by patriarchy. Oprah's comment is probably more correct than many even want to acknowledge. The stereotypes that keep boys quite are yet to be explored and validated.

Cec Murphey said...

Andrew, thank you for your comments.
Part of the reason I started this blog was to encourage men to break their silence and to speak openly about their painful childhood.
As long as our sexual assault remains a secret, our perpetrators still have power over us. They wanted our silence; they needed our silence so they could continue assaulting others.
Speak up! surivors.