I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

A Response to Hiding the Pain

(This is a response from Roger to the last blog post. I thought it should be shared.)

There is so much of my childhood I cannot remember. I sometimes wonder if I want to remember it. I know there were lots of good times; at least I think there were. But I can't seem to recall much at all. To be honest I am afraid to remember because I really don't know what all was done to me and more to the point I don't want to remember what I may have done too.

Deep inside when I read posts like this there is a deep uncomfortable feeling in my chest that rolls around for a while till I can distract myself with other activities. My life is good right now, why would I want to submerge myself in something so terrible and so long ago? What good could come of that at this point in my life? I just don't know and not knowing I suspect is better than knowing and facing the pain.

For me, there is enough pain and things to work on right now. Why would I want to add anything else on my plate when it is already full? I am determined not to crack up like my dad and do something stupid. I just want to survive.

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