This word bimodal fell into my vocabulary long after my healing started. The word refers to two different ways or models of coping. I mention this because it helped me make sense of some of my own behavior. It's like saying that hypersensitivity or overreacting can occur at the same time as numbing out.
I understood that when it came to the matter of trusting others. Sometimes I was skeptical of anyone who made any promises and acted as if they wanted me to trust them. At other times, I naively believed anyone—and was often taken advantage of.
For a long time I wondered what was wrong with me. Why I could be so skeptical about some people and yet such an easy prey to others. But once I caught onto the bimodal concept, it made sense to me.
It also reminded me that my victimization as a child skewered my life. My inconsistency was one way the molestation showed up.
Just to accept that bimodal response has helped me.
I may be inconsistent at times, but I recognize that is part of the healing journey. For a long time I didn't understand. Now that I do, I can make more progress.