I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

Family Secrets

I dealt with my sexual assault for at least two years before I told my family of origin. I made dozens of excuses for myself, such as:

* It no longer matters.

* They don’t care.

* What difference does it make?

* I talk about it to others; why should I have to bring in my siblings?

* It will only stir up anger and hurt.

* They probably won’t believe me.

Despite all the excuses, I knew that speaking to the people among whom I had grown up was something I had to do. For me, it was a significant barrier to overcome on my healing journey.

I finally spoke up and, to my surprise, my three surviving sisters understood. I felt such great freedom in opening up. Maybe my siblings didn't need to hear as much as I needed to tell them.

To tell my family about my abuse—
regardless of their response—
can be a powerful healing experience for me.

(This post was adapted from Not Quite Healed, written by Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe.)

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Are there questions or specific topics you would like Cec to address in upcoming blog entries? If so, please send an email to his assistant at the following address: cecilmurphey(at)mchsi(dot)com. 

1 comment:

Roger Mann said...

I never told any of my family. Up until the day my father killed my mom and shot himself in a murder/suicide did any of my family know. It was then when I heard why he was so upset that I shared that he had done to me what he had been accused of doing to another boy.

I was not overwhelmed with sympathy and support. But I was not called a liar either due to the circumstances. Typically it was accepted and everyone moved on with their own pain. No one asked for details or how I was doing now. Everyone just continued with their own stories and I left to be alone for a while.

Still on the positive side, I was believed.