I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

"I Can Handle It Myself"

No one heals alone. You may challenge that statement, but I'm convinced it's true. We're survivors, but we need others—at least one person who cares.

As human beings, we're built to relate to others. We need them to love, rebuke, encourage, and inspire us. Those who are willing to hear, who can understand our pain, and assure us that we matter, are the people who help us realize the healing we receive from others.

We need other human beings to help us confront the lies and deceptions of our perpetrators.

I need others. 
My denying that fact doesn't destroy the truth.

(This post was adapted from Not Quite Healed, written by Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe.)


Mark Cooper said...

For years I was in churches that taught "God is all you need." That dogma did not go to the next step; frequently God meets needs through others.
We don't like that step, probably because that tends to get messy and feel out of control. And as former victims of abuse, we don't like to feel out of control.
Right now I'm in a season where I'm playing games at trying to handle things on my own. Such as; texting my accountability partner / best friend and telling him I'm calling the next day. Then that day taking perverse delight in not calling.
Or canceling my appointment with my counselor and telling her "I know I'm not serious enough about recovery right now, I need to wait until I'm more serious."
And canceling opportunities to spend time with other people.
All of these are actions / reactions to believing the lie "I can handle this myself."

Roger Mann said...

God never designed us to walk this path alone. "Bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ." And there are many others throughout the old and new testaments. He wants us to need each other like we need Him. I suspect that is why God is a trinity.

I learned after a few years of recovery that I indeed need others. I have blind spots. Lies I tell myself, lies others have convinced me of or lies I just grew up believing due to the behavior or culture. Friends, counselors, family, and the Bible, all act like mirrors for me. They show me areas of my character, my life view that I cannot or will not see. They see things, can point out flaws in my world view that help me realign my life to Truth. I survive better in truth. I can thrive in truth where lies stagnate me. Truth is not ruined by scrutiny.

Just my thoughts