I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

My Life Is a War of Obstacles

(By Gary Roe)

Sometimes I get upset and ruffled because I expect life to be smooth. That’s ironic considering my life since childhood has been a painful war.

Sexual abuse has all kinds of horrific aftereffects. We live with the results of the abuse and our lives are anything but smooth.

What if life is really about overcoming difficulty and obstacles? Maybe part of it is designed to bring me to the end of my own strength so I can begin to trust and experience the freedom that comes from not having to be in control. Instead of exhausting myself running from the pain, I can choose to turn around and embrace it.

As I allow myself to feel the pain, I begin to accept what happened. I’m less controlled by my past and live with more freedom. I am less self-conscious and engage more naturally with others.

Healing is not smooth or easy. It can be upsetting and painful. But it is good. Very good.

Life is not smooth and neither is healing,
but both can be very good.

2 comments:

Mark Cooper said...

Yes! I want my life to be smooth and free of obstacles. But like Gary says, I am finding out that growth and healing come through facing the obstacles. Through traveling over the rough places of the journey.

When I am consumed with wanting life to be easy, I am living as a victim with the "why me's". When I accept the reality of the journey, I am living as an adult. I'm finding that it is better being an adult!

Roger Mann said...

In studying the human body I am often amazed and the ways in which it compensates and deals with stress and adversity. It is like it was designed to strengthen with resistance. This is especially true of body building. Our muscles become stronger the more we use and stress them. Our bones become harder and stronger as we lift and work and walk. Our minds even are sharper the more they are challenged.

As I look back on my life I realize it is when I was facing the biggest obstacles of my life that I grew in maturity, wisdom and confidence. It is like God designed us to blossom in adversity. The good times only seem to make me soft. It has been the hard times of all that I have had to over come that have made me the person I am today. Examples in nature abound and I will not waste time listing them here. I will only say that the people I most admire in my life have been people who have seemed to overcome terrible things in their life to survive and thrive.

Maybe that is just the way we grow. Sunshine and rain. It takes both to blossom.

Just my thoughts