January has always been a difficult month for me. It's the month so many life-changing things happened. I admit I've not always handled it well. This past January and February was no exception.
That said, I've found a peace that I was not expecting. I've learned or been forced to learn to lean on my faith and my wife for support. I wish I could say all my close friends were there for me but I really don't have any. That's my fault. I don't reach out and I'm not good and making friends. A life long habit of keeping secrets and people at a distance is difficult to break.
We've just made the move to a new church and it occurs to me that this might be a good time to start developing some relationships with neighbors and good men in our new fellowship. Maybe it's time to let others see more of the real me. I know that I've never felt so isolated as I had this last month and it didn't feel good.
I can learn a lot from others and perhaps it's not too late to find a few good dependable friends. I know at my age group there still are some good people out there. Being alone felt safe but it really wasn't. And perhaps safe is not a good way to live anyway. That's just existing and I'm finding I really want to live.
Just my thoughts.