I Belong (by Gary Roe)

I asked Gary Roe to write several posts. He also shares his story in my book When a Man You Love Was Abused.

My abuse lies to me. It tells me that I am worthless and less than nothing. That I am an object waiting for others to take advantage of me. That I don’t exist apart from the perpetrators and what they did to me. My lying abuse tells me I will never belong.

My abuse wants to define me.

I mustn’t let it. I must remind myself of what I know is true.

I’m not an accident. I’m not merely the result of the union of a sperm and an egg. I’m not just the genetic combination contributed by my parents and my family tree.

I’m a personal creation of God himself.

Knowing I belong is the beginning. I have to believe and acknowledge this fact before I can begin to live it.

How do I do that? I don’t know. I stumble along as I travel forward. But I started by telling myself the truth. Repeatedly. Throughout the day.

I belong.

I don’t just exist here. I belong.

I’m not simply biding my time, trying to make the best of things. I belong.

I belong on this earth, doing whatever God has called me to do.

I belong to the people around me whom I love and who love me.

I belong.

For me, this is making a difference. Over time, this truth will sink in.

Inside Out: Hope for Men Who Have Been Abused (Part 2 of 2)

Kurt Goff of Family Life interviewed Cecil Murphey in January. He gave us permission to share his blog post and a few comments from listeners. See the previous post to read what Kurt Goff had to say.

To listen to the podcast of the interview, visit the Family Life website at this address: http://www.fln.org/sermon/inside-out-hope-for-men-who-have-been-abused/

Here are a few more listener comments:

(From Anonymous Wife) THANK YOU, this is such a challenging subject and so hard to find resources on. Praise God, this is such a great answer to years of praying and struggling with this exact issue.

(From Bruce Hughes) I recently finished writing my own story of childhood abuse and telling about my journey to victory from the years of pain. I was amazed at the similarities between Cecil's descriptions and my own. I never thought that I should talk about it, but now that I have I find it hard to stop. God's grace has overwhelmed me and given me a new outlook on life. I too hope to be able to share with others the great relief I have found through my healing.

(From Sarah) Thank you, Cecil for sharing your story and thank you, Kurt for posting this interview. I heard a tidbit on the radio on my way to work this morning and my heart broke for these men. With abuse in my past as well, I thought back to the first few times I shared parts of my story with friends at slumber parties and such. A bunch of girls whispering in a room, stepping out gingerly with our pain-filled memories. But we supported each other and I soon learned I wasn't alone. I thought about my brothers and other male friends and realized that opportunities like that are far more unlikely for men to come by. Men aren't eager to be vulnerable with one another like women are. I don't know what I would have done if I couldn't have talked about my past. I hope and pray that things like this will open doors for men to be able to speak and support one another over similar issues. God bless!

Inside Out: Hope for Men Who Have Been Abused (Part 1 of 2)

Kurt Goff of Family Life interviewed Cecil Murphey in January. He gave us permission to share his blog post and a few comments from listeners.

To listen to the podcast of the interview, visit the Family Life website at this address: http://www.fln.org/sermon/inside-out-hope-for-men-who-have-been-abused/

(By Kurt Goff)

This is not an easy topic to tackle.

But it’s an important one.

The stats are shocking: One in six men have experienced unwanted or abusive sexual experiences before the age of 16.

The lasting effects of this are many and can show up in a man’s life in very destructive ways.

Especially in his closest relationships.

As guys, we just don’t talk about it.

It strikes at the core of our manhood.

But I’m so glad my friend and brother in Christ Cecil Murphey has taken a very brave step and broken the silence.

To be sure, the road he has walked has been a long one.

The burden he has carried... a heavy one.

But now God is using his story to bring healing and forgiveness to so many hurting men and the women who love them.

The book is When a Man You Love Was Abused.

A book is one thing.

The voice and the story behind it is another.

Listen and you’ll soon realize that someone really understands your pain.

Maybe for the first time.

And he wants to point you to the One who runs to meet you where you are today.

Psalm 147:3 (ESV)
"He (God) heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

If you need to talk to someone, please don’t hesitate to call Family Life’s FOCUS Counseling Ministry: 1-800-927-9083.

Here are a couple of the listener comments:

(From Sam) Thank God for this. I have been abused and have been recovering from it. Trust is so so hard. I have a hard time trusting and believing people will be good and have the best intentions...God is Great and Gracious. God is timely too. Cecil in the interview talked about Joseph...God has been having me read devotionals, and walking me through the Joseph story right now.
"dont be afraid, Can I do what only God can do? You meant to hurt me, but God turned your evil into good to save the lives of many people, which is being done. Genesis 50:20
---By the way, since there are not many books on this topic per the podcast a great book on this topic from a Christian man who also was abused is the Wounded heart by Dan Allender

I long for authentic Male connections... that is not always easy in our rural area or anywhere really....May this report touch others deeply -- thank you FLN

(From Anonymous) thank you... the lord has used this in my life today. I have suspects that my husband has been abused, and it has greatly affected our marriage. I am praying for healing in his life, and that he would be able to disclose the information to me. just trusting God for this pain.