I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

Purpose (by Gary Roe)

I invited Gary Roe to write several blogs. He also tells his story in my book When a Man You Love Was Abused.

I believe that God placed me here on earth for a purpose. I believe that He orders all things for my good. That means He turns things around. He manages to bring good out of great evil.

It's one thing to say this, and quite another to feel it. Sometimes, my emotions are so powerful. I pray for the strength to deal in facts: It happened, it mattered, God delivered me, God loves me, God is healing me, and one day He will heal me completely.

When I am feeling out-of-control, confused, anxious, and fearful, Lord, give me the grace I need. Let me rest in the love that You have for me.

I have purpose today.

I have a grand and glorious purpose from You.


Heather Marsten said...

Gary, I now know what you are saying is true, but it took years for me to accept this without snapping at God. I needed to know who the Father was and His nature before I could really comprehend how He could turn such great evil to good.

When people would tell me that God could take my past and turn it to good, before I knew God as my Savior, in error, I would spit out, "Great recruiting system, God." I believed God permitted what happened so he would have a vassal, sort of like Ray Harryhausen in Jason and the Argonots where the gods moved people like chess pieces.

At the age of eight when God did not answer my prayer to stop the abuse, I figured God had washed His hands of me and so I abandoned Him. I was so wrong, but I spent about forty years hating God and blaming Him for my abuse, when the source of my abuse was NOT God, but satan who kills, steals and destroys. God was there with me.

It took knowing His love for me, and letting Him heal me, until I was mature enough in Him to realize He was there all along, that He loved me and hated what my father did. He preserved me through the horrific abuse, and now that I am healed, I look out and long to reach others with His healing love and power. But it was a journey for me to get there.

I keep commenting because your posts touch my heart deeply and resonate so much with the kinds of things I have felt on my healing journey. Thank you so much for sharing from your heart. You are touching many, many lives.


fgbowen said...

Again!!! Another great post here. Thank you. "It's one thing to say this, and quite another to feel it." Loved that. Thank you Lord - you have a "grand and glorious purpose" for me (Jeremiah 29:11). Thank you Lord for making my life meaningful, and for turning things around.

Gary said...

Thanks for your comments! Glad we are in this together.