I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

Tired (by Gary Roe)

I invited Gary Roe to write several blogs. He also tells his story in my book When a Man You Love Was Abused.

I am so tired. I work hard, all the time. I work as if my life depends on it each moment. It’s as if I create stress, or seek it. I perform well. I use my performance as a way to try to make sure that what happened to me as a child never ever happens again.

So I run through life, sometimes without noticing much. I live mostly inside my head, already on to the next thing before I even finish the one I'm working on. And I wonder why I am often angry, frustrated, and exhausted.

This hectic kind of life is as natural for me as breathing. I sometimes sigh at verses like “Be still and know that I am God.” It seems so far from my experience.

I get tired of running. I want to choose to rest and actually be able to do it. I want to go easier on myself, give myself grace. Maybe I need to realize that working harder will not keep it from happening again.

Maybe I need to forgive myself.

I would like to really live with energy and joy.

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