I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

Ready to Accept

(By Cecil Murphey)

Years ago after an insightful experience, I wrote these words in my journal: No matter how many times I hear something, I will deny what I’m not prepared to accept.

Friends, loved ones, or even people who don't like me tell me something about myself. I hear the words, but I ignore the meaning. It usually takes something drastic to make me accept something about myself that others have seen but I haven't.

I'm a straight talker—that's neither a boast nor an apology. It's who I am. But after I'd hurt people's feelings (unintentionally) enough times I realized that bluntness, frankness, or straightforwardness (whichever word we choose) can also be harsh and unkind.

Perhaps not wanting to change keeps us from "hearing" facts about ourselves. But once we accept the truthfulness of what we hear, we have to decide what to do about it. I'm committed to accept those unpleasant things about myself.

To prepare for further truth about myself, here's something I pray every day: "God, heal the parts of myself that don't want to be healed." The more open I am to hear about hidden parts of my personality, the more I'm ready to change (be healed).

No matter how many times I hear something, 
I will deny what I’m not prepared to accept—and to change.

(This post was adapted from Not Quite Healed, written by Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe.)


Anonymous said...

Cec and Gary,

I too believe the silence must end. Though I am a female survivor of sexual abuse I relate to what you are talking about. I began reading the new book today immediately (Gary, I am borrowing that from the sermon) and know I will be ripping of a bandage which has not stopped the bleeding, time for a more drastic approach - surgery and stitches. I want learn what I can do to bring awareness to this devastating situation. I have some ideas, but want more input. God bless you both for being open and writing this book. Kim Dick

Cecil "Cec" Murphey said...

Thank you, Kim. We're open to any ideas that will bring awareness (and which lead to healing).

Thank you for being open about YOUR being a survivor.