I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

An Email from Preston

Preston Hill emailed me the following note in response to the post titled “Naming Myself.” He gave me permission to share it with you here. (Cec)

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I have treasured your emails for a long time now. I have been feeling prompted, in my own healing, to reach out. This email is, perhaps, the straw that broke the camel's back.

Identification is a power healing step, one I have been feeling my own heart inviting me into. My first public admission was with one of my professors in Bible college. I later started a support group with this safe sojourner. This group brought more self-disclosure, more safe solidarity, and therefore, more disruptive naming of pain that was necessary for healing to occur.

We used to always say in the group, "You cannot heal from what you have not named." In many ways, my journey of healing has been a process of learning my name, and naming myself.

8 comments:

Dann Youle said...

Good word Preston! A quote from Patrick Mead also addresses what you said about naming, he says: “you cannot heal what you cannot feel,” (I.e.: if you’re unable or unwilling to name-*feel* your pain you can’t expect healing to happen). Keep pursuing your healing brother!

Cecil "Cec" Murphey said...

Hi, Anonymous. This is Cec's assistant. We're glad that you're reading the old blogs and getting good help from them. Regarding your questions, Cec started this blog with the purpose of offering hope and healing to hurting men. That is the singular purpose. He does not recommend anyone or suggest groups or organizations. This isn't a forum for that. If you have a personal question, you may always write directly to Cec at cec.murp@comcast.net.

Anonymous said...

Cec, please don't take it as me being upset because I asked to remove my posts. For some reason, this triggered a huge anxiety within me and paranoia and fear. I should have never shared so openly so much. I am so glad I did not use my name, please accept my apologies for causing you extra work. I will continue to read your posts but I will be a lot more careful about what I posts. I guess I thought I was ready to share, but I know now I am not.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Cec for your blog and thank you to all those that courageously share. Maybe one day I can be so courageous. I want to put the secret back in the dark and hide for now.

Cecil "Cec" Murphey said...

Anonymous, this is Cec's assistant again. Cec would like to talk with you privately. Please email him at cec.murp@comcast.net.

Anonymous said...

Cec, thank you. I am fine and I am reaching out to a counselor.

Anonymous said...

It's called shame. I am so ashamed.

Roger Mann said...

Shame is one of the shackles that kept me bound and silent for so many many years. Shame can still rear it's ugly head in various ways but I recognize it now. It doesn't have the sting it used to have but I do identify with this other poster who struggles with it. Someone told me several times because it didn't sink in right away that it's not who I am, it's what was done to me. I was a good kid who had bad things happen to him. I'm still a good man who had bad things happen to him. No shame in that. It wasn't my fault. I was just a kid.

Just my thoughts