I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

"He Said He'd Take Care of Me"

I had an email in which a young man, age 19, said he had "done things" with his Sunday school teacher for four years. "He bought me things and took me places."

The boy's parents were both "drunks and pill poppers" who "didn't know I existed unless one of them needed me to grab a cold one from the refrigerator."

He went on to say that the teacher promised, "I'll take care of you. You can't live with me because you're a minor but when you're older we can live together and I'll take care of you."

After a few more details the boy added, "Just before my 18th birthday I asked him about moving in. He said he couldn't do that. He wanted to but he couldn't."

He told me about his agony and feelings of rejection, especially when the teacher began to make excuses for not getting with him regularly.

"It was all a lie. I reminded him of his promise and he cussed me out and told me I was evil and that he had tried to help me but he had failed."

The young man had attempted suicide once and had undergone psychiatric treatment for depression.

He has emailed me three times, so that encourages me to believe that something positive is going on. He also reads my blog (which is why he contacted me). "You can use my story," he said in his last email, "but you can't give my name."

I wish his story had a happy ending.

Maybe one day it will.


Heather Marsten said...

Oh that makes me so mad. This Sunday School teacher has put a wedge between this young man and God by doing ungodly things to hurt this child. Not only that, but broken promises hurt. I am praying for this man, that he finds healing. I pray that God sends someone into his life to help him find the real love of the Father. I pray that he holds on until the healing comes.

When people that we should be able to trust abuse us, it hurts deeply. Parents and representatives of God need to remember that what they say and do profoundly affect a person and also can impact the victim's walk with God.

If I were to speak with this guy, I would tell him that God was not pleased with this man's abuse. God gives us free will and many people abuse it. I would assure him that God can restore what was taken from him, and that God loves him very much.

If he is anything like I was, I suspect he wouldn't believe that, thinking that God abandoned him. But I pray that he asks God to show Himself. I would tell him to take his hurt to God, yell, scream, and share. God will listen and comfort. Healing takes time, but real healing is possible.

Cec, you do a wonderful job of helping those who have been abused and I know that what you share is impacting lives. It takes real courage to share from your heart like you do. God bless you.


Pippi said...

I hope it will too. Abuse is so much more manipulative when religion is involved.

Cecil Murphey said...

Two people have contacted me privately as well as the posts on the blog. THANK YOU.

The young man has emailed me two more times since I wrote the blog. (I usually write about a month of blogs at a time.)

"I believe I'm getting better. and it helps to know that you willing to help hurting men like me."

I've edited the words, but that's his message.

He has read all four comments and said they brought tears because until he began to read this blog, he never thought anyone could care about him.

Thank you, Heather and Pipi, and the other two who posted me. You have helped him by expressing your compassion and your indignation over his treatment.