I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

Howard

"We buried Howard last week and he was 59 years old," the email began. "He never talked about his abuse, but I knew because our oldest brother did it to both of us. He didn't talk to me about it and I didn't talk to him."

The writer went on to say that Howard had been a civilian who worked for Army Intelligence. "He knew how to keep military secrets. He also kept his own. They said he died of a heart attack and that's probably true, but it wasn't the kind of heart attack that medicine can treat."

The man spoke of his sadness, and that he had gotten help through AA and Celebrate Recovery. He said he wished he had talked to Howard. "It might not have done any good, but at least I could have tried."

1 comment:

Heather Marsten said...

My heart breaks for Howard's brother. It is heartbreaking the kind of pain abuse causes and the secrecy it encourages. I am praying that Howard's brother does not feel guilt for not talking with Howard. Not always are we able to speak with our siblings.

I have tried to talk with my sister and brother about my abuse - they know what happened to me, but refuse to talk about the abuse they received. Day after day I see how their pain and unforgiveness eats them alive and I am saddened. The best tribute to Howard is to heal so that the abuse doesn't take down another member of the family. And if Howard's brother heals, he won't perpetuate the abuse from generation to generation. That is an awesome tribute.

I am praying for Howard, his family, and all the other Howard's out there.

For what it's worth, my brother's name is Howard and he is dealing with Parkinson's disease - never resolved his issues with our father, and is hurting in a lot of ways.

God bless you for this site.
Heather