(This post comes from Gary Roe.)
Lie #5: “It’s All My Fault”
Childhood sexual abuse implanted the lie I’m alone deeply into my heart. That lie brought other companions with it: I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m in control, and It’s all my fault.
My perpetrators were adults. They were supposed to know what they were doing. Something must be wrong with me. Maybe I deserved this. I must be to blame. It’s all my fault.
I felt responsible. That exaggerated sense of responsibility spread to other areas of my life. If anything went wrong, I assumed it was my fault and I didn’t do it right.
The truth? The abuse was their fault. I had no part in it and I was the victim.
It’s all my fault? I’m not that powerful. I’m not in control. I’m not God. When something goes wrong, I can consider if I had a part in it, confess, ask forgiveness, and then forgive myself.
I might feel like it’s all my fault, but feelings are not facts.
Now, I believe I’m responsible for some things, but not everything. I’m learning to live that way.