Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Being the Responsible One

I tend to be overly responsible and take on burdens that belong to others. As a kid, I became responsible for my two brothers. If they didn’t do their chores after school, I hurriedly covered for them. That became my pattern.

For years I tried to fix problems and people. And like many other survivors, I ended up in what we call the helping professions. I was a teacher and later a pastor.

These days I make my living as an author, especially a ghostwriter. It took me a few years to figure out that I leaned toward the underdogs—to help and encourage them. My biggest success has come from writing Dr. Ben Carson’s autobiography, Gifted Hands, before he was famous. He’s the epitome of a person who should have ended up in failure. Most of the personal-experience stories I’ve written reflect that same perspective.

One day I realized those tendencies and thought, There’s something good about what I do. I focus my life on helping others. When I reach out and help others—such as writing this twice-weekly blog—I benefit from doing so. I try to give to others what I didn’t receive in childhood. That’s a positive response to my abusive childhood.

I give to others
what I didn’t receive in childhood.

2 comments:

Roger Mann said...

I have spoken with a lot of survivors over the last eleven years and it struck me that those who were willing to list their vocations listed a large number of helping/caring/ or even medical personnel. So many of us seem to end up in fields that somehow give others what we never had. It is not universal but it is surprisingly a very high percentage.

So is it true that tribulation works patience? Does having a lot have hardship to suffer through make you a better person? I guess it depends on the person. Life is about character, not skill. It is not what happened to me, but how I dealt with it that matters in the final analysis.

Just my thoughts.

Robert said...

Thank you for this blog, you continue to help all of us and it is a blessing .