I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

Be Kind

At the end of emails to good friends, I sometimes add these words: "Be kind to [name] today." Occasionally I'll add, "[Name] is someone I like very much and deserves the kindness."

Not everyone responds to that and I don't write it to hear from them. I write the words because I mean them. I also write them because I've had to say them to Cec many, many times.

When I've messed up, said or done the wrong thing, feel low, or lonely, that's when I have to decide to be kind to myself.

How do I show myself compassion?

My words go like this: I like Cec; he needs me to support him and he deserves all the love and respect I can give him.

Be kind to yourself. Say only positive, loving thoughts to yourself. If you find yourself bordering on negative and self-condemning words, here's what I do. "Cec, I'm sorry I felt that way. You don't deserve the harsh things I've said about you. I promise you that I'll be nicer."

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